One Saturday morning, having gotten to the clinic later than usual, I found myself one of only a few pro-lifers praying at the clinic when two girls pulled up and parked. On this morning it was particularly cold and neither of the girls were wearing heavy jackets or winter clothing. They were hesitant to stop to speak to me as they were rushing into the warmth of the building. Ultimately they did slow a bit as they saw me waving. Seeing their hesitation, I was able to address them and ask if they were aware of the abortion clinic in the upper floors of the building. The girls nodded and one in particular hung back- as I looked at her, she quietly admitted that she was pregnant and there to pick up her prescription for the RU-486 pill. She went on to add that she was 7 weeks pregnant and that this was her last chance to “do this” as she was traveling back to complete her second semester of her freshman year of college that day. She said that her parents were unaware of the pregnancy but that her boyfriend knew about it and that he was very supportive- supportive of what, I wasn’t exactly sure. As we were only able to speak for a short time being the weather was so unfortunately cold, I tried to quickly explain the dangers of the pill and abortion and specifically that RU-486 actually induces labor without any medical supervision. When she heard this , she was surprised but said that she would speak with the doctors upstairs as to her options. The girls proceeded to walk into the clinic. I decided with another prayer warrior to wait for them to come out to find out the outcome of their situation. After three hours they did indeed return. The girl who was pregnant immediately walked to her car but her friend did come to me and speak to me about what had occurred upstairs. She relayed that the doctor had indeed given her an ultrasound and that they had determined the baby to be exactly 7 weeks and 3 days old. They told the girl that the pill at this point would be too painful to take however having prepaid for that service- they agreed to accept 10 extra dollars to give her a surgical abortion the following weekend.
We saw this as a wonderful opportunity for prayer and possibly with Gods intervention maybe even a miracle. A miracle for the life of the unborn child and a miracle for the mother who otherwise would venture down a very long, unkown, emotionally dark and dangerous path. We quickly called many prayer warriors and added her to many prayer chains. We called in the troups, so to speak, and many rallied and prayed for this one beautiful girl and the precious little soul that inhabited her. Armed with Roses, personal letters from post-abortive women countless articles of literature and hearts full prayers, we came to the clinic the next Saturday in hopes that we would never see her. We stood outside in zero degree tempreatures from seven in the morning. As the morning hours faded, we were quickly becoming more and more hopeful, however around eleven am we suddenly saw Sara’s bright face rounding the corner to walk to the front of the clinic with her boyfriend. Having been expecting this moment we lunged forward exclaiming her name and waving to her – explaining that we had a few things for her before she went in. She looked at me and recognizing me immediately from the previous weekend, hung behind her boyfriend in hopes of maybe speaking to me quickly. When her boyfriend realized that she had ducked behind him- he quickly ushered her through the front door and closed it decisively behind them. I watched from the sidewalk powerless and deeply saddened that all of our efforts that previous week were seemingly so in vain. As the morning turned to afternoon – many of the prayer warriors left and I began considering leaving as well, having been discouraged. My husband however kept reassuringly telling me to wait just a few more minutes and when the last prayer warrior had to leave, he also encouraged me to stay until Sara came out. Wait and try at least one more time to give her the information that we had put together for her. Finally around two-thirty, I saw the front door open and Sara’s face appear around the corner. I tried to make out her expression however someone had stopped her to ask her for directions. I saw as she tried to put on a brave face to the stranger, as if she was fine, and answer the woman politely. She turned once again towards me and slowly turned her face down. Her boyfriend having spotted me, tried to hustle her past me saying quickly that she needed to get to the car and sit down immediately. Not wanting to upset her boyfriend, Sara said nothing but observed me from behind. I quickly ran toward her and before they could say anything, placed the information that I had held for so long into her hands. I looked at Sara directly and quietly explained to her that I had waited for her all day, that day, in hopes of the remote possibility of giving her these things. She looked puzzled and sad as if she didn’t really know what had just happened. Before she could changer her mind, I walked forward and asked if I could give her a hug. She nodded hesitantly. As I embraced her, I no longer felt just my own love but the love of the countless prayer wariors, friends and aquantences who had been praying, sacrificing and thinking of her through the week, come through in what I can only describe as an overwhelming wave of emotion. With a subtle shiver I knew she had felt it too, and I felt her body relax. All of a sudden she was hugging me back and didn’t want to let go. Reluctantly, I pulled back, and explained to her boyfriend that once I had also walked in her shoes and that the things I had given her would be there to help if she ever needed it. He softened a bit and ultimately thanked me. After accepting my hug, as I pulled away from Sara, I noticed just the slightest look of sadness cross her face. As quickly as it came, it was gone. Had I blinked …I would have missed it. I continued to watch as they left- both seemingly fine again and in relatively good spirits.
The exchange with Sara had lasted maybe 2 minutes. Countless numbers of us had prayed and waited hours and days for those innfinitly irreplaceable 2 small minutes.
I collapsed into the seat of my car and wept bitterly for many minutes. The stress of the week had built up and finally there was release. As the tears slowed, and I had time to reflect, I began to realize that what I had first viewed as defeat, was truly only a glimpse into the beauty of Gods unending Mercy and Grace. I began to realize that God has and would continue to wait many times for me in the same way. He would wait through what had been and would be even worse things. He loves us all so unconditionally and thoroughly that even with a misconstrued “choice” such as Sara’s and once mine, to end the life of our unborn children, - He waits. He waits to comfort, He waits to hold and mostly he waits to Forgive and to Love with open arms. He grieves the loss of the beautiful child within and mourns the loss of the part of our Soul that we can never reclaim. He waits for each and every one of us in the same way in whatever state of brokenness or sinfulness he may find us or we may put ourselves into. Will Sara one day, look back and remember an embrace? When she receives roses on a special occasion, will the scent of the flower remind her of the one that was given her on a cold winters day long agoe? Will these memories spur a change of heart that will ultimately lead to forgiveness and healing of a broken heart and Soul? Only God knows the outcome, but judging from the prayers and from witnessing the lengths that God goes to for One Soul, irregardless of wretchedness, I feel encouraged that the answer to that question will undoubtedly be, and Always is… Unequivocably …YES!
